I could say that wimpy men are like females, but that would completely insult females. I know many females that are much stronger than some males I know.
I see a new generation of people who are of the “age” to be men, but still act like little boys.
In marriage, there are two types of destructive men. The first is the abusive man. They control, dominate, and abuse to get their way. This is evil! This type of man is a wimp because he has no ability to use other means to gain influence.
But, there is a second type of destructive male role in marriage. This is the apathetic man. This is the man who doesn’t care, who has no vision, who seems to live without purpose. This is a wimpy man because he acts like a little child. But, then again, that would be insulting to a little child! They are much more filled with vision than some of these men!
Unfortunately, due to many years (decades) without proper male figures, the current young generation of men has not grown up with Godly role models. They run from conflict, they reject anyone who would correct them, and they respond emotionally without reason.
Are you this type of man? Do you know someone who is?
Here are a few recommendations:
1. Find relationships with friends and mentors who will allow you to be honest and transparent and who will lead you to God’s Word. They are not there to make you “feel good”. They are there to help lead and guide you to what IS good. The worst type of mentor is the one who tells you to do what you THINK is right. They are more afraid of losing a relationship than they are of you losing God’s purposes for your life.
2. Get involved in a men’s ministry/discipleship group in your church. Coming from La Iglesia En El Camino, I am thankful for the “Hombres de Impacto (Men of Impact)” ministry that my dad (Jim Tolle) leads. In the church my wife and I are planting, I am discipling men in a small group format during 6-8 months. When I finish this group, I’ll start a new one. Get in one or START one!
3. Read some good books! Let me recommend three:
1. “No More Christian Nice Guy” by Paul Coughlin
2. “Fatherless Generation: Redeeming the Story” by John Sowers (@johnsowers on Twitter). John is a fried of mine and leads The Mentoring Project (@tmproject). Check it out!
3. “Emotionally Healthy Spirituality” by Pete Scazzero.
There is no easy way to make all of this happen. I have been working at it for ten years in youth ministry. I am thankful that we have seen real men of God raised up in our ministry who stand for what’s right and who know how to love others.
One step at a time and one life at a time. Let’s do it!